Unfortunately, we Twendees and Ascenders know that training doesn’t always contain an amazing experience – a fabulous view; a beautiful sunset; a profound realisation about something…that sort of thing.  Sometimes it’s quite dull.

So this week, to spice things up (especially now it is getting colder and wetter and therefore duller), I have invented a new game to play while on a training run.  It takes in many of the conditioning elements we need, like a stern workout for knees and ankles, and is a real test of balance and agility.  And, of course, there is animal-related peril.

The English version of the game is called “Dodge The Cowpat”, but there are already some international variations in development.  German-speaking challengers can play “Ausweichen Der Kuhfladen”…. our French colleagues can play “Esquivez La Bouse De Vache” (which still manages to sound sophisticated), and of course we cannot forget our Spanish contingent with my personal favourite version “Esquivad La Caca De Vaca”.   As the international versions are in development, some of the translations may need polishing…

The rules are simple:

1. Select a field you know to have recently contained our sworn enemy – cows.  The more cows, the better the workout.
2. Carefully check that the field does not still contain any cows.  This is very important and for your own safety.
3. Run as fast as you can across the field.
4. Your objective is to avoid making contact with the dangers that lie in wait in the grass.
5. Extra points are awarded for style – so sudden changes of stride length and direction are encouraged.  Expert level contestants can include devastating rugby-style sidesteps as if they are carving their way through the All Blacks defense….
6. Exit the field and check your shoes.  Points are deducted for each “contact” made.
7. Falling over half way across and “making contact” with anything other than your shoes means instant disqualification.
8. Competing in low-light conditions increases your ability to score points (in line with the increasing personal risk).

I have played twice this week and came out with very high style marks on both occasions.  Unfortunately my first attempt at a maximum difficulty “Dusk Dash” resulted in my trainers and lower half clothing having to go straight into the washing machine.  But no disqualification, so I’m happy with that.

If anyone would like more information on “Dodge The Cowpat” clubs in your local area, just let me know.

Happy Dodging!