I can tell you for a fact that when the Kilimanjaro email first went out to everyone, preparing to climb 3 mountains next week is the last thing I thought I would be doing. I like my comforts, I like being on my sofa, and I like to be warm – so I really surprised myself when I immediately replied to the email saying ‘I’m in’. Of course, I am so on the bandwagon for UNICEF and don’t think we could be supporting a better charity, but personally there have been some pretty big ups and downs for me so far. So here is what I would like to call The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

The Good

There have been loads of things that I didn’t expect to have come out of the process. One of the biggest highlights so far has been the fundraising for which I have been knitting and have been teaching dance classes in the London office. Being ‘forced’ to do this has actually been so much fun! I haven’t had the opportunity to teach dance classes since I moved to London and this has really reminded me how much I loved to teach. I would never have thought to do this on my own and having the opportunity to fundraise doing something I love has been a real unexpected bonus.

Training-wise, London can be pretty limiting due to a substantial lack of hills and mountains -so I have been going out of the city on the weekends to get in some training sessions. I find myself very easily stuck in my routine and reluctant to leave my urban bubble, so pushing myself to trying new things and go new places has been a liberating feeling. I’ve also been super lucky to have supportive teammates and friends who are happy to do the walks with me and even, on occasion, pick me up from train stations. There is already a real sense of community with all of the people who have signed up to the challenge, and knowing that you aren’t alone, both with your triumphs and with your fears- has been beyond comforting.

The Bad

I’m an emotional person, so to say I haven’t had some big wobbles would be a big fat lie. There are times when it feels overwhelming, and I have thought it would be very easy to plaster a smile on and pretend it’s all excitement all the time. Most of the time that excitement would be true, but there are absolutely times where I become very apprehensive about what I’ve gotten myself into and if I am going to be able to do it.

With 10 days until the 3 peaks challenge, I can feel myself getting anxious over the things I probably should have done – like maybe done more training, eaten better the past few months, or even learned to walk with my poles without looking like a praying mantis. It has also left me feeling anxious over the things that I don’t have as much control over such as the weather for our climbs, my asthma, and altitude sickness.

But the further we go into this whole process, the more I am learning to lean into my feelings and feel them authentically. And more times than not, when I have spoken to other people in my team or people who have done the challenge before – they have either had the same feelings or are able to calm my fears.

The Ugly

On a very vain note, my rain pants are the ugliest things I have ever owned in my life. My rational side is aware that I will be very grateful to be dry and warm if and when the need for them arises, but there is really something about the ‘swish swish swish’ when you are walking that highlights the fact that you are essentially wearing a trash bag. Fully intended to style it out, but I have a whole host of trash jokes saved up ready to use.

On a serious note though, a big personal challenge for me is keeping self-doubt at bay. Because I don’t identify as particularly ‘athletically inclined’ I have a tendency to psych myself out before ever really giving myself a chance to go for it.

I’ve been on several big hikes as preparation, the first of which I did when I was home early July, and before we had even set off I had it in my head that I wasn’t going to be able to do it. I was with my mum and my best friend and ended up getting really upset about halfway through because I was feeling a bit of physical strain – which had me convinced that I wasn’t going to be able to finish our 6 mile hike, much less Kilimanjaro. After having a cry, they managed to convince me to finish the walk – but it was only the next day after realizing that I wasn’t sore from the hike that I had a lightbulb moment. Yes, the hike was difficult, and I hadn’t necessarily enjoyed all of it- but physically I was fine and able to do it. With each walk I’ve done since I’ve tried to go into it with no expectations and willing to listen to my body, but also being really conscious that I can do it and a huge part of being able to do it is believing in myself.

We haven’t even started the main part of the challenge and I feel like I have learned a lot about myself. So I am really looking forward to seeing what I learn on the way up.